It's important in life to have a best friend. Someone who will be there to help you out no matter what, and always make you smile when you need it.

On the other hand, it is almost unavoidable to have an arch enemy. A nemesis. Some fiend that plagues your nightmares and causes you need to constantly watch over your shoulder, lest they stab you in the back.

Mine is the Gorton's Fisherman. I know what you are thinking. But you are wrong. He is REAL. First off, Gorton's Fisherman has been leading his evil campaign for years before I was born. He cleverly disguises himself as a friendly fisherman bringing frozen fish goods like fish-sticks and the like into families homes for decades. Every commercial includes a jingle. A famous jingle that you'd be hard pressed to find a person who doesn't know it.

"Trust the Gorton's Fisherman..." Well I don't. Its a subliminal message. He distracts you with pretty pseudo-fish products and then sneaks into your mind. He asks you to trust him, and thinking you have nothing to lose, and you say, "what the heck?". You give him your foolish trust and he gains another mindless minion in his ever-expanding army.

But it doesn't end there. No the awful truth runs much, much deeper. I have also long known that his second in command and my second-most sworn enemy is Mr. Peanut, the Planter's Peanut. Practically the devil incarnate, an animate peanut that wears a monocle and top hat, and carries a cane that probably also serves as some kind of terrible torture device.

Still don't believe me? Well I am actually sad to say I've uncovered further evidence of this pact. And am saddened to learn that even more beloved product characters are now included as leaders of this evil plot to gain the trust of the world, only to betray it and rule over it with a yellow rain coat.

Someone sitting in their home enjoying their favorite television program would think nothing of it. That is because they have programmed you, they have your trust. Some might even think of this as cute, or clever. That is how deep they have gotten into your mind. All I see is a league of pure evil, so convinced of their power that they scoff at the public by displaying they are all working together and sitting around their giant evil table, having a giant evil dinner. You are all so blind you cannot see it for what it truly is, but I can. Look on this nightmare with open eyes...



Clearly Gorton's Fisherman and Mr. Peanut have gathered these other iconic characters to spread their agenda even further. And worse! They have swayed Mastercard to bank their actions. I am afraid a time is coming when they will be too powerful to stop. Too huge to control. They have gained the trust of millions, if not billions, and are are reaching their goal. World domination.

Not if I have anything to say about it. Join me. Rally behind my cause. I have publicly stood up to the Fisherman and Peanut before, I will do so again, and again until we prevail. Do not buy into their false pleas for trust. Hopelessness and worse lies ahead for all those who follow these false idols, these shams. Join me, and we can win this together. Spread the word. WE WILL NOT TRUST YOU!!!

The hitlist grows...
Primary targets (confirmed):
-Gorton's Fisherman {Mastermind, malefactor looking to rule over world by gaining people's trust with fish-sticks and catchy jingle}
-Planter's Mr. Peanut {Second in command, has evil mind-control monocle}

Secondary targets (confirmed):
-Count Chocula {Vampire, adored children's character will have no trouble converting future generations with sugary cereal}
-Charlie Tuna {fish with Hollywood connections, probably has gained celebrity followers, possible Scientologist}
-Chef Boyardee {friendly demeanor with delicious soups for children and grown ups alike; soups filled with the broth of Satan}
-Vlasic Pickles Bird {I think its a stork, either way it sells pickles, and pickles are just unnatural}
-Morton’s Salt Girl {has fooled people for years into believing throwing salt over their shoulder was good luck, it is in fact bad luck, as it leaves a trail for Gorton's Fisherman to follow you}
-Jolly Green Giant {Gigantic green man, possibly impervious to all attacks besides pesticides, jolly laugh capable of crushing buildings with sonic waves}
-Pillsbury Dough Boy {degenerate pervert, has tricked countless men, women and children into "tickling" his stomach while he giggles maniacally, every tickle gives him more doughy power}

Secondary targets (unconfirmed):
-Mr. Clean {reports Mr. Clean has been enslaved as a dishwasher for this group, also possibly a "Cleaner", wiping out targets for the group and making them look like accidental falls on wet floors}
-Little Green Sprout {original sidekick to jolly green giant, unsure of possible involvement}
-All brand characters are now suspect; keep an eye open for the likes of:
Keebler Elves, Quaker Oatmeal's Quaker, RCA Dog, M&M's and more.
They are all suspect!

Oh... my... god...

Some time ago I wrote a review on here about Operation: Anchorage, the first DLC content from Bethesda for Fallout 3. Fallout 3 itself was amazing. Operation: Anchorage kinda sucked. In keeping the downhill trend going, the newest DLC, The Pitt is completely awful.

What were they thinking!? First off, I can't believe I finished it. At the time of this writing it's 8:22 PM. I finished playing Fallout just after 8PM. Here comes the kicker... I started playing at 6PM. That's right ladies and gentleman... it took me less than two hours to play through the entire DLC. I say less than, because it took me a good 5-10 minutes dropping off gear in my house at Megaton and traveling to the mission start point.

I should also point out this was by no means a speed run. I wandered around and looked for random junk and exhausted every possible conversation with NPC's that I could.

I'm in shock. My single biggest complaint about the last DLC was its linear path and short playtime from start to finish. This was WORSE! How!? How Bethesda!?

I guess I didn't fully complete it because i didn't feel like spending another hour searching around for steel ingots to gather all 100 possible. But thats not fun content anyway, thats searching for random shit and wasting time.

You only get 2 new weapons as far as I can tell, (two that are worthwhile anyway, the rest are useless) a few perks that are fairly worthless, and the ability to come and go from the Pitt as you please.

The Moral decisions are back, but don't make any sense. Everything is kinda backwards. I can't get into detail without being spoilerish, but if you play it you'll know what I mean. In previews it was hyped up that the Trogs, the new enemy addition would be awful and something to be feared. they suck. You can pick them off with your weapons without them even getting close. I think one of them hit me one time. Also theres barely any of them. Whole DLC I fought/killed maybe 20-30 creatures/people TOTAL. Perhaps it was more but it sure didn't feel like it.

On the plus side, the Pitt looks awesome. It's the same thing I thought was great about the last DLC, a fresh paint job. But it's just not enough. You view the world map and the Pitt looks huge. You get excited thinking you can travel around a whole new area, but the place is completely small and claustrophobic, and you spend most of your time backtracking the length of it to talk to the same 3 NPC's. FFS!

I can't write anymore. It's not worth it. If Broken Steel turns out this Horrible, which I can't possibly imagine it could based on the fact its placed back in the Capitol Wastes with an upped character limit. I cannot get over this or Operation: Anchorage though. This is pitiful. Complete and epic FAIL Bethesda. And shame on you for charging people a combined $20 on these. Realistically, OA should have cost 5 dollars, and the Pitt, $2.50. At best. There are arcade games on Live that cost a fraction of this and last hours longer. FAIL FAIL FAAAIILLL!!!

UPDATE: Trixie has blocked me on twitter. And really done nothing more than prove my point even further. Supposed community leaders that block their followers when they disagree with them one time and makes it personal by making fun that I don't have a huge twitter following. Pathetic.

Twitter. Many people spend their whole day tweeting away every mundane thing they do. If you've seen the right nav bar on my site, you'll quickly realize I'm one of them. Recently if you're a member of the twitterverse, you can't help but have heard about Ashton Kutcher's (@aplusk on twitter) race to 1,000,000 followers against CNN.

Normally I wouldn't care, but when I stumbled across it, I found out that bragging rights weren't the only thing at stake, but that if Ashton won, he would donate 10,000 mosquito nets to aid in the fight against Malaria in Africa. This is a cause I know he's been an advocate of for some time.

I am no fan of Ashton Kutcher. I don't dislike him, its just that he's never done anything that I was a fan of per se. When I saw this though, I added him on my twitter, because what the heck? It doesn't cost me anything and if it helps to get needy people so help, why not? In case you didn't catch the end results, he did beat out CNN and managed to get CNN and others to donate a total of 50,000 mosquito nets. If you ask me thats great. Stupid means to make such a donation maybe? Sure, but the cause still stands, and I was happy to be a part of it.

So where is the hypocrisy I mentioned? I follow a lot of the xbox.com staff. They are an awesome group, that are super tied to their community. Something not a lot of big companies are. Makes you see that there are real faces just like yours on the other end of the ether. One member in particular, Trixie 360 (@trixie360 on twitter) always posts a lot of great and funny stuff. And all of the staff go out of their way to run free contests and giveaways to their followers. A selling point I'd be lying to say isn't a reason I continue to follow them, or followed them in the first place. Its an incentive to listen to other news and random tidbits of thoughts they want to talk about. Kindof the whole point of twitter.

But today, instead of the normal code giveaways which take place with trivia or fun contests, Trixie opted to start giving away the largest amount of codes I have ever seen given away, just for people to UN-follow Ashton. Why? I guess cause since he's a celebrity and used that to gain followers he sucks... or something.

I can't speak to intentions. But honestly this to me at least feels wrong. Even if he was just on some asinine quest to gain followers so he can twit to them about whatever dumb stuff he thinks up, it's still his prerogative. And incidentally, pretty much the point of twitter. Gain followers, yak about pointless shit. But here he was offering his "incentive" that he would give 10,000 mosquito nets that will potentially save people's lives.

So anyway a flood of "free-t-shirters" jump on the bandwagon saying they've removed him. I'm sure some did, some didn't. Whatever. But it feels wrong. I would unfollow him right now just out of lack of interest, but to do so because someone is telling me I should and paying me to do so with game giveaways feels even more dead wrong.

I once chugged a full can of Pepsi through a complete strangers 3 day dirty sock at a paintball tournament to win a prize. So I am a complete whore for free things. But this was just a childish act and I am saddened so many people jumped on it. I could start offering to send a dollar to everyone who unfollows Trixie, and tons of people would. But two things would come from that. I'd be in the poor house, and I would have gained nothing by taking away from someone else.

Of course it doesn't matter cause hes a major celeb and it is retarded. Any any amount of people she got to unfollow him wouldn't hurt him or his cause at all. But it's still wrong. So the end result after I finally got through to Trixie and she talked back and forth with me a few times, is she shut down the code give away. I'd like to say I was proud, but I'm not that egotistical, and I also have a ton of people calling me a douchebag now. Which is fine, I've got thick skin. But here is what really gets me...

Trixie says to me:
@plabrozzi if he wants to give to charity he should just do it and shut up. Followerwhoring is LAME.

To which I respond:
@trixie360 lol what are all you xbox.com people doing? same thing, getting ppl like me and all those you just gave codes to to follow you?

To which she responds:
@plabrozzi i have NEVER asked people to follow me. Not once. And never will.

To which I respond:
@trixie360 No, but you are asking people to unfollow someone else, and giving them prizes to do so. Thats worse if you ask me.

Am I wrong? Maybe. But It seems to me to be the same thing. And of course the next thing is :
"Okay the inevitable bitching and whining have now killed the code giveaway. We had a good run for a while!"

So now I'm bitching and whining? Because I have some moral standards and expressed an opinion? Trixie neither had to listen to me nor stop giving away codes based on what said. Her response could have easily have been:
"Members of the community aren't happy with the idea of this contest, so I'm switching gears and giving away the rest of the codes just because you are my fans."

I don't have anything personal against Trixie. Not even after this. Not even after all the replies from people pissed at me. I'm bigger than that. But it just frustrates me this course of events. It's hypocritical to give prizes to people to stop following someone who was trying to gain followers by giving something away as well.

The difference was Ashton's followers were helping people in Africa, Trixie's will be sitting playing free copies of Peggle over the weekend. And somehow I'm the bad guy.

Anyway, I'll pay to play Peggle if it means not having to sell out. And Trixie, honestly, I mean you no bad feelings. I just disagree with how you ran that code giveaway. It doesn't support the good or betterment of the xbox community in any way. Its an abuse of power.