Here is a rehash of the Micrsosoft Press Briefing from today at the e3 expo in Los Angeles, CA. Some really great stuff has been announced and demo'd so far.

This list is probably a little bit out of order and missing some things, but these were things that really stood out to me.

Some xbox360 exclusives and new exclusive games just announced:

-Left 4 Dead 2, November 17 (looks to take place in New Orleans, pretty cool)

-Crackdown 2

-Forza 3 (absolutely gorgeous)

-Splinter Cell Conviction (very very cool, this will be up there for game of the year)

- Halo 3 ODST, September 17, looks pretty cool, live demo. similar to halo 3 but seems like it has other elements mixed in. not as straight forward a shooter. Seems like it has a little focus on stealth, and some flashback storytelling. uses a visor as similar to metroid prime series

- Halo: Reach Prequel to Halo series. SWEET invite to multiplayer beta with purchase of ODST

- Alan Wake: exclusive. demo being shown, plays like a story book, he seems to be narrating his actions as he goes along, sort of weird. he carries a flashlight which seems like it does soemthing to the boogey men that are after him. like they have to avoid the light. same with some flares he's toting around.

-Metal Gear Solid Franchise coming to 360.

- Metal Gear Solid Rising, New Game announced. Main character is Raiden, new types of game play it sounded like

Some other cool stuff:

-Tony Hawk Ride has skateboard peripheral that is pretty neat.

-They live demo'd modern warfare 2, its stunning. looks like so much fun. Snowmobile, ice climbing gameplay, new gun with built in sonar monitor for gunning enemies down in blizzard. very fricken cool. map packs will release on 360 exclusively at first, other consoles later.

-Showed Final fantasy XIII playing on 360 for the first time. Same scene that has been floating around from the ps3 demo, but with some extras like differences in battle system and first summon, which was odin who fights along with your characters instead of just a cgi sequence. very cool. spring 2010 release

-Beatles Rock Band they demo'd a bit, now have up to 3 singers as well as band.

- Bringing music to xbox similar to netlfix with a partnership with last.fm, for free

- Some great updates to netlfix, and new partnetship with Sky TV to bring similar to UK and EU. includes live tv incl. football games etc.

- Video library will be converted to full 1080p, everything will be instant streaming, no waiting for download, highest quality.

-Live Party will allow for video to be played from your xbox to friends when you party up, (this was supposed to ship originally, will happen this fall)

-Partnership with facebook, facebook on 360 in dashboard. very cool. can view your fb friends and xbox live friends by linking them together. view photos etc in full screen. status updates, can comment/like etc. Facebook connect, screenshots & texts post to your profile from your games.

-Partnership with twitter, send/read tweets

-Guild season 3 this fall, felicia day is adorable.

-New control system, code name: "Project Natal (nah-tahl)", not just motion control. YOU are the controller. tracks full 3d body motion. looks sick as hell as well as gimmicky as hell. facial recognition, voice recognition, image scanning. can use your hands/voice to move through the dahsboard similar to an iphone. they look like tom cruise from minority report doing this stuff. will work with all xbox 360's, old and future versions. partnering with steven spielberg to create some stuff for it. lol, called out nintendo for "preset waggle commands" this is really cool looking. Peter Molynuxes(sp?) make a kid named Milo at lionhead and you can interact just talking with him and smiling etc, he recognizes your facial expressions ans such, this is insane. (remember seaman with leonard nimoy? like that except way cooler) the demo girl is looking into a pond, and her reflection is actually in the pond. incredible. she drew a picture of a fish, held it up and the kid took the paper into the game and recognized it was a fish. i am stunned.

Updated: Couple Extras post-briefing

- 360 avatars will be getting more clothes/props etc that will be earned from games (possibly by unlocking a number of or certain achievements) and also from a store.

- ability to buy full games without the discs and download directly to your hdd, examples given were mass effect, assassins creed, bioshock among others. no news on if new releases will be available right away or over time. 30 to launch at the start in august with new releases every week

It's important in life to have a best friend. Someone who will be there to help you out no matter what, and always make you smile when you need it.

On the other hand, it is almost unavoidable to have an arch enemy. A nemesis. Some fiend that plagues your nightmares and causes you need to constantly watch over your shoulder, lest they stab you in the back.

Mine is the Gorton's Fisherman. I know what you are thinking. But you are wrong. He is REAL. First off, Gorton's Fisherman has been leading his evil campaign for years before I was born. He cleverly disguises himself as a friendly fisherman bringing frozen fish goods like fish-sticks and the like into families homes for decades. Every commercial includes a jingle. A famous jingle that you'd be hard pressed to find a person who doesn't know it.

"Trust the Gorton's Fisherman..." Well I don't. Its a subliminal message. He distracts you with pretty pseudo-fish products and then sneaks into your mind. He asks you to trust him, and thinking you have nothing to lose, and you say, "what the heck?". You give him your foolish trust and he gains another mindless minion in his ever-expanding army.

But it doesn't end there. No the awful truth runs much, much deeper. I have also long known that his second in command and my second-most sworn enemy is Mr. Peanut, the Planter's Peanut. Practically the devil incarnate, an animate peanut that wears a monocle and top hat, and carries a cane that probably also serves as some kind of terrible torture device.

Still don't believe me? Well I am actually sad to say I've uncovered further evidence of this pact. And am saddened to learn that even more beloved product characters are now included as leaders of this evil plot to gain the trust of the world, only to betray it and rule over it with a yellow rain coat.

Someone sitting in their home enjoying their favorite television program would think nothing of it. That is because they have programmed you, they have your trust. Some might even think of this as cute, or clever. That is how deep they have gotten into your mind. All I see is a league of pure evil, so convinced of their power that they scoff at the public by displaying they are all working together and sitting around their giant evil table, having a giant evil dinner. You are all so blind you cannot see it for what it truly is, but I can. Look on this nightmare with open eyes...



Clearly Gorton's Fisherman and Mr. Peanut have gathered these other iconic characters to spread their agenda even further. And worse! They have swayed Mastercard to bank their actions. I am afraid a time is coming when they will be too powerful to stop. Too huge to control. They have gained the trust of millions, if not billions, and are are reaching their goal. World domination.

Not if I have anything to say about it. Join me. Rally behind my cause. I have publicly stood up to the Fisherman and Peanut before, I will do so again, and again until we prevail. Do not buy into their false pleas for trust. Hopelessness and worse lies ahead for all those who follow these false idols, these shams. Join me, and we can win this together. Spread the word. WE WILL NOT TRUST YOU!!!

The hitlist grows...
Primary targets (confirmed):
-Gorton's Fisherman {Mastermind, malefactor looking to rule over world by gaining people's trust with fish-sticks and catchy jingle}
-Planter's Mr. Peanut {Second in command, has evil mind-control monocle}

Secondary targets (confirmed):
-Count Chocula {Vampire, adored children's character will have no trouble converting future generations with sugary cereal}
-Charlie Tuna {fish with Hollywood connections, probably has gained celebrity followers, possible Scientologist}
-Chef Boyardee {friendly demeanor with delicious soups for children and grown ups alike; soups filled with the broth of Satan}
-Vlasic Pickles Bird {I think its a stork, either way it sells pickles, and pickles are just unnatural}
-Morton’s Salt Girl {has fooled people for years into believing throwing salt over their shoulder was good luck, it is in fact bad luck, as it leaves a trail for Gorton's Fisherman to follow you}
-Jolly Green Giant {Gigantic green man, possibly impervious to all attacks besides pesticides, jolly laugh capable of crushing buildings with sonic waves}
-Pillsbury Dough Boy {degenerate pervert, has tricked countless men, women and children into "tickling" his stomach while he giggles maniacally, every tickle gives him more doughy power}

Secondary targets (unconfirmed):
-Mr. Clean {reports Mr. Clean has been enslaved as a dishwasher for this group, also possibly a "Cleaner", wiping out targets for the group and making them look like accidental falls on wet floors}
-Little Green Sprout {original sidekick to jolly green giant, unsure of possible involvement}
-All brand characters are now suspect; keep an eye open for the likes of:
Keebler Elves, Quaker Oatmeal's Quaker, RCA Dog, M&M's and more.
They are all suspect!

Oh... my... god...

Some time ago I wrote a review on here about Operation: Anchorage, the first DLC content from Bethesda for Fallout 3. Fallout 3 itself was amazing. Operation: Anchorage kinda sucked. In keeping the downhill trend going, the newest DLC, The Pitt is completely awful.

What were they thinking!? First off, I can't believe I finished it. At the time of this writing it's 8:22 PM. I finished playing Fallout just after 8PM. Here comes the kicker... I started playing at 6PM. That's right ladies and gentleman... it took me less than two hours to play through the entire DLC. I say less than, because it took me a good 5-10 minutes dropping off gear in my house at Megaton and traveling to the mission start point.

I should also point out this was by no means a speed run. I wandered around and looked for random junk and exhausted every possible conversation with NPC's that I could.

I'm in shock. My single biggest complaint about the last DLC was its linear path and short playtime from start to finish. This was WORSE! How!? How Bethesda!?

I guess I didn't fully complete it because i didn't feel like spending another hour searching around for steel ingots to gather all 100 possible. But thats not fun content anyway, thats searching for random shit and wasting time.

You only get 2 new weapons as far as I can tell, (two that are worthwhile anyway, the rest are useless) a few perks that are fairly worthless, and the ability to come and go from the Pitt as you please.

The Moral decisions are back, but don't make any sense. Everything is kinda backwards. I can't get into detail without being spoilerish, but if you play it you'll know what I mean. In previews it was hyped up that the Trogs, the new enemy addition would be awful and something to be feared. they suck. You can pick them off with your weapons without them even getting close. I think one of them hit me one time. Also theres barely any of them. Whole DLC I fought/killed maybe 20-30 creatures/people TOTAL. Perhaps it was more but it sure didn't feel like it.

On the plus side, the Pitt looks awesome. It's the same thing I thought was great about the last DLC, a fresh paint job. But it's just not enough. You view the world map and the Pitt looks huge. You get excited thinking you can travel around a whole new area, but the place is completely small and claustrophobic, and you spend most of your time backtracking the length of it to talk to the same 3 NPC's. FFS!

I can't write anymore. It's not worth it. If Broken Steel turns out this Horrible, which I can't possibly imagine it could based on the fact its placed back in the Capitol Wastes with an upped character limit. I cannot get over this or Operation: Anchorage though. This is pitiful. Complete and epic FAIL Bethesda. And shame on you for charging people a combined $20 on these. Realistically, OA should have cost 5 dollars, and the Pitt, $2.50. At best. There are arcade games on Live that cost a fraction of this and last hours longer. FAIL FAIL FAAAIILLL!!!

UPDATE: Trixie has blocked me on twitter. And really done nothing more than prove my point even further. Supposed community leaders that block their followers when they disagree with them one time and makes it personal by making fun that I don't have a huge twitter following. Pathetic.

Twitter. Many people spend their whole day tweeting away every mundane thing they do. If you've seen the right nav bar on my site, you'll quickly realize I'm one of them. Recently if you're a member of the twitterverse, you can't help but have heard about Ashton Kutcher's (@aplusk on twitter) race to 1,000,000 followers against CNN.

Normally I wouldn't care, but when I stumbled across it, I found out that bragging rights weren't the only thing at stake, but that if Ashton won, he would donate 10,000 mosquito nets to aid in the fight against Malaria in Africa. This is a cause I know he's been an advocate of for some time.

I am no fan of Ashton Kutcher. I don't dislike him, its just that he's never done anything that I was a fan of per se. When I saw this though, I added him on my twitter, because what the heck? It doesn't cost me anything and if it helps to get needy people so help, why not? In case you didn't catch the end results, he did beat out CNN and managed to get CNN and others to donate a total of 50,000 mosquito nets. If you ask me thats great. Stupid means to make such a donation maybe? Sure, but the cause still stands, and I was happy to be a part of it.

So where is the hypocrisy I mentioned? I follow a lot of the xbox.com staff. They are an awesome group, that are super tied to their community. Something not a lot of big companies are. Makes you see that there are real faces just like yours on the other end of the ether. One member in particular, Trixie 360 (@trixie360 on twitter) always posts a lot of great and funny stuff. And all of the staff go out of their way to run free contests and giveaways to their followers. A selling point I'd be lying to say isn't a reason I continue to follow them, or followed them in the first place. Its an incentive to listen to other news and random tidbits of thoughts they want to talk about. Kindof the whole point of twitter.

But today, instead of the normal code giveaways which take place with trivia or fun contests, Trixie opted to start giving away the largest amount of codes I have ever seen given away, just for people to UN-follow Ashton. Why? I guess cause since he's a celebrity and used that to gain followers he sucks... or something.

I can't speak to intentions. But honestly this to me at least feels wrong. Even if he was just on some asinine quest to gain followers so he can twit to them about whatever dumb stuff he thinks up, it's still his prerogative. And incidentally, pretty much the point of twitter. Gain followers, yak about pointless shit. But here he was offering his "incentive" that he would give 10,000 mosquito nets that will potentially save people's lives.

So anyway a flood of "free-t-shirters" jump on the bandwagon saying they've removed him. I'm sure some did, some didn't. Whatever. But it feels wrong. I would unfollow him right now just out of lack of interest, but to do so because someone is telling me I should and paying me to do so with game giveaways feels even more dead wrong.

I once chugged a full can of Pepsi through a complete strangers 3 day dirty sock at a paintball tournament to win a prize. So I am a complete whore for free things. But this was just a childish act and I am saddened so many people jumped on it. I could start offering to send a dollar to everyone who unfollows Trixie, and tons of people would. But two things would come from that. I'd be in the poor house, and I would have gained nothing by taking away from someone else.

Of course it doesn't matter cause hes a major celeb and it is retarded. Any any amount of people she got to unfollow him wouldn't hurt him or his cause at all. But it's still wrong. So the end result after I finally got through to Trixie and she talked back and forth with me a few times, is she shut down the code give away. I'd like to say I was proud, but I'm not that egotistical, and I also have a ton of people calling me a douchebag now. Which is fine, I've got thick skin. But here is what really gets me...

Trixie says to me:
@plabrozzi if he wants to give to charity he should just do it and shut up. Followerwhoring is LAME.

To which I respond:
@trixie360 lol what are all you xbox.com people doing? same thing, getting ppl like me and all those you just gave codes to to follow you?

To which she responds:
@plabrozzi i have NEVER asked people to follow me. Not once. And never will.

To which I respond:
@trixie360 No, but you are asking people to unfollow someone else, and giving them prizes to do so. Thats worse if you ask me.

Am I wrong? Maybe. But It seems to me to be the same thing. And of course the next thing is :
"Okay the inevitable bitching and whining have now killed the code giveaway. We had a good run for a while!"

So now I'm bitching and whining? Because I have some moral standards and expressed an opinion? Trixie neither had to listen to me nor stop giving away codes based on what said. Her response could have easily have been:
"Members of the community aren't happy with the idea of this contest, so I'm switching gears and giving away the rest of the codes just because you are my fans."

I don't have anything personal against Trixie. Not even after this. Not even after all the replies from people pissed at me. I'm bigger than that. But it just frustrates me this course of events. It's hypocritical to give prizes to people to stop following someone who was trying to gain followers by giving something away as well.

The difference was Ashton's followers were helping people in Africa, Trixie's will be sitting playing free copies of Peggle over the weekend. And somehow I'm the bad guy.

Anyway, I'll pay to play Peggle if it means not having to sell out. And Trixie, honestly, I mean you no bad feelings. I just disagree with how you ran that code giveaway. It doesn't support the good or betterment of the xbox community in any way. Its an abuse of power.

So I finally got around to uploading my photos from the New York Comic Con 2009 on Flickr. It's taken so long because I couldn't get a dedicated weekend to spend the time necessary to go through them all, but with this weekend's stormy weather, up they went.

Anyway, you can see the entire set here:
http://tinyurl.com/nycc09

To give you an idea of the reason it took so long, for two straight days...
- I went through and converted all the pictures from RAW to JPG, adjusting the images as needed before converting
- Then I added my signature frame and copyright tag to all of them
- Then once that was completed I went through image by image and deleted any I didn't like or that were too blurry or had other problems (down to 512 from a little over 600).
- Then I batch uploaded them to Flickr on private settings (only I can see them) which took two tries as the first batch had a problem and quit after 230 were uploaded. Total upload time was something like 15-20 hours (flickr uploadr is SLOW! but nessecary) as the batch was something like 2.9 gigs worth of photos.
- Once everything was all on Flickr I created a set for them and organized them in the set
- I then went through and added a first layer of tags that were universal to all the pictures (New York Comic Con 2009 etc)
- I then went through and did a second layer of tags for any pictures featuring Cosplayers and one for panels
- I then enetered a third layer going picture by picture, sometimes in small batches adding specific tags and descriptions for each photo's contents (i.e. naming characters, panelists, people, places etc.)
- After all this was done, I removed the privacy option and added them to the global flickr area so anyone could view them

In other words it was a pain in the butt and took literally all of Saturday and Sunday to do, during which time my internet was slowed to such a crawl that anything bandwith intensive like some Call of Duty on xbox, was out of the question. (The good news is I finally finished Lost: Via Domus {what an ending!} and started up Bioshock again).

And here are just a few of my favorites. Enjoy!

 

OMG! I cannot believe that I found this. Many who know me, know that throughout time I've ranted about some very random things. One major movie rant I've always talked about is a movie called the Peanut Butter Solution. It is by far the craziest movie I've ever seen, and that's saying a lot. Most people don't believe it exists when I tell them about it. That's also because no one in their right mind has ever seen it.

My understanding is that it was a Canadian made family horror/comedy movie. It released in 1985 and features music by Celine Dion. You see? Already frickin wierd.

Anyway, the movie is about a kid, who upon going into a burned down haunted mansion catches an illness (or something like one) called, "The Fright", which causes all his hair to fall out. This is remedied though when a pair of homeless ghosts teach him how to make a magic formula called, "The Peanut Butter Solution". This will make his hair grow back, but he is instructed to not use too much peanut butter or else it will have negative effects.

Sure enough he uses too much and his hair grows at a crazy, fast, never ending pace. It is also magic hair, as we eventually find out, as his evil art teacher from school captures all the children in the town and forces them to make hundreds of paintbrushes every day from his hair. Which also, I should point out, allows the painter using said brush to paint anything in their imagination, and you can then walk into the painting! WTF!?

The story is resolved in the end when some friends of the kid trick the evil art teacher into walking into a painting of the same haunted mansion from the beginning where he sees "The Fright" and loses all his hair, which saves the main kid somehow. The end.

Amazing right? I don't know what inspired me finding this, or who the amazing soul is that took actual real life time to convert this masterpiece of nonsense over to a digital format. But here it is, in all it's glory, the entire 90 minute movie, "The Peanut Butter Solution". Enjoy.

Warning! Some Spoilers follow.

Ok, so I bought and played through the Operation Anchorage DLC for Fallout 3. Overall it was pretty clever and fun, an inventive use of the game world and history to set it up, and a refreshing break from the dirt and grime of the Capitol Wasteland. But on the whole, it was definitely not worth the price it's currently selling for.

The DLC starts when you get a transmission interception that you aren't supposed to, being sent from the Brotherhood Outcasts, asking for backup at a place called Bailey's Crossroads. This adds a marker to your Pip-Boy for you to follow. After reaching the Crossorads, you find a group of the Outcasts fighting off a large mass of Super Mutants. Once you help them to kill off the horde, (in a very similar fashion to how you helped the regular Brotherhood of Steel members fight their way to the GNR plaza) an Outcast solider approaches you and tells you they may have use for you and your special talents - especially since you have a Pip-Boy on you and it is vital to what they are doing here.

After descending a freight elevator into the bottom of an old Building you are met by Defender Sibley, who's none to happy to see you and foreshadows some events to come. After talking with a bit more of the Outcast leadership you are charged with stepping into a simulation chair that will have you re-enacting the famous historical battle to reclaim Anchorage from the Chinese Invaders. The Outcasts believe that inside a locked armory they can find all kinds of advanced technology, but the only way to unlock it would be to successfully complete the simulation. However, the VR program will only accept someone who has a Pip-Boy and a special VR suit, (which they provide you) so it's up to you to defeat the simulation and gain access to the vault. For your efforts Protector McGraw, the man in charge at the site offers to split the loot with you.

The "simulation" is split into a few distinct parts. The first lands you on the Anchorage Cliff sides and gets you accommodated with the new area while you have to split up then meet up again with your npc partner for the rest of the missions, Benjamin Montgomery. You are only given a silenced 10mm pistol and a trench knife along with other minimal supplies. Unlike the main part of the game, killing someone does not leave a lootable corpse, so your gear is instead supplied in a linear fashion of completing a small section then finding a rifle or whatever other ordinance is laying around at the end of it along with a health dispenser and an ammo dispenser. These are the only way of replenishing yourself and gaining new armaments. Once you meet up with Benjamin again, you infiltrate the Chinese artillery station and are tasked with destroying the three "Guns of Anchorage" (a clear reference to the Guns of Navarone).

From here you meet up back at the U.S. Base camp and then have to complete three more mini-missions to beat the simulation. You have to first either destroy the fuel tanks at a Chimera Tank Base, or disable the Chinese Listening post. After you have completed both of these tasks you can move on to the third which is to destroy the Chinese Pulse Field which disables anything mechanical within it's field, keeping the T-51b Power-Armor Trooper core from being able to siege the Chinese main base. Each of these three tasks are very quick and painless, especially because during the first two you lead a small NPC strike team and on all, are aided by other American NPC's.

After you disable the pulse field you join a huge group of power armor soldiers attacking the base. Once inside, you run into General Jingwei, leader of the Chinese army in the area. You are given the choice to fight him or try talking him into surrendering. Either way ends with him dying at either your or his own hands when he kills himself as not to be captured. (I am told that if you fight him, that he is the hardest NPC in the whole game, so come with your game face on) On his death, the in-simulation NPC General Chase comes to you and tells you job well done and you can move on in your training. The simulation then ends and you are back in the real world.

All the outcasts are waiting for you by the sealed vault, and once you unlock it with the terminal, you can go inside and pick up assorted ammo and loot from the simulation, some of which includes the winterized T-51b Power Armor and Helmet, the Gauss Rifle (which is awesome because on a successful hit sends your enemy flying backwards), A Chinese Stealth Suit, and Jingwei's electrified sword. However, Defender Sibley as I mentioned earlier, is pissed and he starts arguing with Protector McGraw about letting a "mutt" like yourself have any of this great technology. Soon enough this comes to blows as Sibley and his troops attack you, McGraw and Specialist Olin, meaning you have to save them. Once you do, they thank you and you can be on your way, Operation Anchorage complete.

The DLC on the whole had a lot of charm, and being in a snowy populated area was a fun and different change from the Capitol Wasteland for a little while. The expansion being dropped into the pre-existing world was very well done, it literally felt like just another thing you'd stumble upon while wandering the wastes. The actual simulation had a lot of high points. The squad based fighting was a fun dynamic and certainly had a very different feel than the normal lonely scouring of empty buildings and metro lines. It was no Gears of War or Republic Commando type of squad fighting by any means, but fun nonetheless. The new weapons and armor bring a bit more fun to your inventory with the Gauss Rifle and Stealth Suit being standouts. The Gauss Rifle in my experimenting so far doesn't seem to be completely accurate, sometimes almost like it's shell goes through the enemy without hitting them, but is great when it does connect. The Stealth Suit acts like a Stealth-Boy except you are invisible any time you are squatting down. The two combined make a mean combo for anyone with a stealth/sniper play-style, or even for someone without. There were also 10 pieces of "intel" to collect throughout, which nabbing all ten awards you the Covert Ops perk (+3 to Science, Lockpick and Small Guns).

However, there was a lot of downsides. The entire simulation is very linear, and removes all the fun of the wander-around-do-anything part of the main game. OK fine, it's a computer simulation with specific objectives, I get that, but it literally force fed you where to go with a blue glowing wall blocking off all but the path it wants you to take at times. I guess it's meant to be an ironic joke on itself. Any rate, it didn't have the same feel or flow as the regular game play. There also seemed to be a lot of glitches. Like I mentioned already the Gauss Rifle tends to miss people it should otherwise be hitting. If you had someone dead to rights in your scope or VATS and fire away, it will often go right through them leaving them without even one point of HP removed. Bad for the amount of time it takes to reload this monster and the fact it uses MicroFusion cells which can sometimes be in limited supply. I'm sure this can be adjusted in future updates. Worst of all though, was it was incredibly short. I imagine you could probably complete this whole DLC in under an hour if you tried. For me it took maybe 2-3 hours, but I was searching every nook and cranny and talking to every npc at length. A practice I picked up during normal game play when scavenging, but it nets you nothing here.

Final point: the Operation Anchorage DLC is great in its creative and different nature. You should definitely get it if you love Fallout 3. But I would personally wait until it drops in price to 400 MS points instead of 800. No idea when that will be, but I definitely don't feel it was worth a whole $10 for the short, force-fed game play, couple pieces of gear and the perk you leave it with.

This came off my Facebook. These have been doing the rounds with everyone contributing, so I finally did my own when Cannetti caved and did one himself.


Pete's Note:
Unlike every other one of these you read I am not including things like, "I am currently sitting at a desk which is brown!"
Instead I am going to try and make them thoughtful. I apologize if they read long.


1) Probably one of the most random bad things that ever happened to me in my life yet, was I was once attacked by a swarm of bees. Although there is no exact count of how many times I was stung, it is estimated to be in the hundreds. A great many bees that were still lodged in me by their stingers were washed off in a bathtub before I was rushed to the hospital where they still pulled off 36 more.

2) I have only ever dated and kissed one woman, and I married her after 7 years. It will be 10 years since we met in April. We dated from the time we were 16 through college all long distance, seeing each other as often as we could, got engaged on our 5th anniversary, and got married in August of 2006. We have been living together in NYC ever since.

3) I am completely straight edge. I have never in my life drank so much as a beer, smoked a cigarette or used anything but prescribed drugs. I intend for this to last til the day I die, hopefully a ripe old age. I did not even drink the champagne at my own wedding.

4) I am very interested in outer space. The original career path I was seeking to pursue was engineering, and specifically aerospace engineering. I intended to work for NASA or some similar group. I hope to go into space some day.

5) I once saw a movie where a giant monster from another planet comes to Earth and the person who was the "chosen one" who was the only person who could stop the monster, was the world's most average human being. Someone who was exactly in the middle. Not too tall, nor too short, not too fat nor too skinny, not too intelligent nor too stupid etc. Exactly in the middle for all things. I consider myself to be that man, and am awaiting the arrival of said monster.

6) I love technology in all forms and am fascinated by human ingenuity that creates it. Sometimes the sight of human creation can be as beautiful to me as any majestic sight in nature.

7) I don't believe in organized religions as the different people of the world would have you prescribe to. I do believe there are some form of higher beings but that Earthly religions have all gotten the point wrong. The point is not what you believe in or worship, but that you have faith in general. That you treat other people right and try to make the best of your life while you can. If I'm wrong, at least I can say that I was a good person.

8) I have a strong dislike and intolerance for heat. I always prefer colder weather (60-65 degrees F is my favorite). I hate cooking because heat from the oven bothers me extremely. However, I love fire and consider myself a hobbyist pyromaniac. My favorite character in Team Fortress 2 is the pyro.

9) I have a ridiculous thirst for knowledge. I love to know how things work. I am known by many people who know me as a source of tons of useless/useful knowledge on the most random topics you'd never expect me to know about. My memory is at its sharpest when recalling strange details about thing's I've learned over time.

10) I love stories of all kinds, which makes me an avid reader and fan of movies and TV. I always crave new or interesting stories, and often bother my friends to tell me theirs in excruciating detail (right Cannetti?).

11) I am something of a "selective obsessive compulsive". I have some habits or methods of doing things that always have to be done exactly the same way. This sometimes feeds into my thirst for knowledge, especially when I set goals to read or finish things 100% There are many things I set these goals for that I never finish however, as I move onto the next thing before I can. Many times this is not even for reasons like boredom or dislike, but just because I am always ready for the next thing. I also have a funny habit of tapping on things as I walk by them sometimes.

12) I am an avid gamer. I have played video games since I was little and continue til today. I don't consider myself to be a pro gamer, but I am at least intermediate to advanced in most types of games, especially FPS games. On my 360 I currently have a huge to-do/play list because as stated in #11 I often move on to newer games before I finish current ones even if I love playing them. I am hoping to get back to many of them eventually.

13) I love driving cars. I am completely content driving 10 or more hours at a time. I have owned 2 cars, technically 3, but I only drove my first car which was an old 69' Chevy truck for a few minutes before we disassembled it to do work on it to restore it, which we never finished. I am not a car enthusiast per se, but I love seeing different cars and especially driving them. I have on occasion done valet parking jobs which has allowed me to drive some of the coolest cars in my life. I hope to strike it rich and own a few some day. I currently live in NYC where I can't have a car. This sometimes gets me down.

14) I don't necessarily want to be a celebrity, but I would like people to recognize me for my accomplishments past, present and future. I often feel like I am skimming the border of this, just in the background. I hope to become a popular photographer or become "internet famous" for my animated show/comic Unsuper (if I ever get it off the ground). I love the feeling when people enjoy thing's I've created.

15) I have never been the popular kid. In the first half of my life I was picked on a lot. But in the second half of my life, I haven't been the unpopular kid either. I have always just "been there". People for the most part like me, they don't necessarily want to hang out with me, but they don't dislike me. It's a strange place, where I have unfortunately become comfortable. The problem with this is I sometimes don't like the feeling of being the guy in the background.

16) The biggest regret in my life was going to my college, Fairleigh Dickinson University. While there are many things I gained from it including a wide array of knowledge and skills, a larger view of the world and people, and perhaps the best friend of my life, there were many more downsides. Many things that occurred and people that treated me like shit act like scars on my mind that I still think about many days. When I look back on my college years, I don't associate them with happiness on the whole as most other people do, and for that I feel robbed.

17) I am not good at and don't enjoy self-editing. Even though it sometimes makes things not live up to the potential they could, I like to tell stories in great detail, or even write things like this now in that way. I could express myself in shorter form, but that's never been my way. This even affects some of the films I have made throughout time. I also enjoy going to 3 or more hour long movies while everyone else complains.

18) I am not all that gifted when it comes to sports. Regardless, I do enjoy playing many of them. My favorite is Hockey, and I love playing goalie. This was a benefit to everyone I went to high school with as no one wanted to be goalie on days we played hockey in gym class. As a result I became a very good goalie. My fondest memories are playing on the frozen pond with my friends (before global warming put a stop to that in recent years) and not letting a single goal past in the hockey tourney on Whalers day at Pierson, leading my class to win. I also like playing Tennis second best, and baseball third. I hate all televised sports except for Hockey and on championships in all other sports (ie: superbowl, world championships in baseball etc).

19) I have met a number of celebrities living and working in NYC and the Hamptons. My favorite one was John Stewart from the Daily Show whom I sat and talked with for a good 45 minutes one day. He is a genuinely nice human being and as funny in person as he is on the show. My most regretted one was meeting Steven Spielberg and not recognizing it was him until after he left, when I could no longer ask/beg for a job.

20) I have a natural talent and instinct towards nature. Animals of all kinds typically gravitate to me, often leaving people saying, "my ____ never goes up to people like this!" This has also come in handy in the wild when photographing birds/critters as they will actually usually not run away from me.

21) I have a natural compass and sense of direction. I love maps but often don't need them. At any time coming out of any subway in NYC I can usually correctly figure out which way you are facing and where you have to go next within seconds. This has come in handy on many, many occasions.

22) I am a scary judge of character. I can often decide all that I need to know about a person within the first few moments of meeting them. If an impression I have doesn't immediately pan out, it almost always does in the long run. I am fiercely loyal to friends and people who treat me right, and i am as fiercely vengeful towards the opposite. I am quick to forgive someone when I realize they are genuine and regress to forgive people who have seriously wronged me long after many others have forgiven them or at least forgotten.

23) I have a very wry sense of humor for the most part. I often am at my most humorous when slipping in little jokes at the wrong time. I have a great sense of humor overall and love laughing. Being excessively happy is my most favorite feeling and I often make jokes to keep things that way, and to make others feel the same. There is nothing better to me than when someone genuinely laughs at something I've said or done.

24) I often don't know where I am headed in life and tend to just go with the flow. I have been doing a lot of debating recently as to where my life is headed. I think I've finally figured it out. My major goal in life right now and for the future is to start my own business and become successful as a photographer.

25) New York City is a part of me. When I was growing up on the east end of long island, I loved Sag Harbor, but knew there was something more out there for me. At this point in my life, I only feel right living in NYC. Something about waking up in the morning and walking out onto the street only to remember I'm in the city of cities really makes me feel at home. I don't think there is a greater place on Earth, and couldn't be happier starting my family and adult life here. As the great Billy Joel said, "I'm in a New York State of Mind".

This is a story I wrote in March 2008. It's being reposted for the masses to see.

It was during my time in Tanzania Africa recently that I came across a marvelous discovery. To preface, before I left I had discussed with my good and dear friend Michael Cannetti, the existence of a very special and very rare animal.

Mike had asked me, "So are you going to watch the Gizzle as it grazes in the open plain (Australian accent needed for this statement.)". I at first mistook his meaning for watching a Gazelle graze, but then I recalled having heard of a mysterious animal by that name. As we began to discuss, Mike at first suggested he thought it resembled something of a "dog-like" creature, a Dingo. But that wasn't it. I thought hard about it and remembered that it was known to be a very fast animal with some interesting facial features. Finally and triumphantly, Mike recalled that it was part Gazelle, part Ostrich, and part something far more sinister.

It was with great courage and ingenuity that I set out upon the plains of the Serengeti searching for this elusive beast. A promise was forged that I would bring home a photo of the animal in all its natural glory. A promise made to my dear, dear Cannetti. Many days were spent traversing long distances of nearly endless plains and nights were spent fending off Lions and Leopards as they viciously attacked our camps. Many brave men and women were lost. Time seemed to come to a crawl, each passing day another thousand Gazelle's but no Gizzle. Another flock of Ostriches, but none close to what I had traveled so far to find.

It is easy for one's mind to start playing tricks out in the plains. With the intense sun and heat, mirages form in the distance, drawing you near but only to find naught but your own blood, sweat and tears. Days became weeks. Weeks became months. And through it all, my hope prevailed. Though fading as I was in both physical health and sanity, I pushed ever on.

Disease swept me. The local peoples took me in, gave me care. I slowly returned back to my former health, but at such costs of time and resources it seemed my task would soon become impossible. It was with great desperation I decided to stay among them, hoping I could learn their ways.

A year went by, and then another and they thought me many things. They taught of tracking and the ways of the wild. They told me legends passed down for centuries by their ancestors, all brave warriors forged out of the very earth of the African plains. All the while, the great Gizzle eluded even their finest and most courageous; all but one that is. They told of a warrior chief, said to have been birthed of their gods, but made to walk the earth as a man. Each passing story of this ancient soul grew a fire in my heart, the flames of which would not be extinguished so easily again. At the end of my time there, my strength and hope renewed, I made another promise. To come back some day, if only by the grace of some higher power, and share my adventures with them. And to take all that they taught me and honor them by seeking out the Gizzle, even if it meant my certain death.

It was with new fervor I set out again through the jungles and across the plains. Swimming the widest deltas and climbing the highest of mountains. Surely nothing would get in my way. Time still was not kind, and the elements dropped upon me by the fates themselves broke and battered my body, but still I pressed on. With increased accuracy I found signs of the beast, now just barely escaping my grasp. Living off what sustenance I could find, and always moving. Neither rain nor raging fire could slow my speed. Animals both great and small cowered and ran as I rolled through their territory like the very lightning that lit up the sky; territory in which only one man had before tread. Earth shook, winds roared, kicking up great dust storms to blind me, and yet I pressed on. All the terrible beasts of the wild descended on me, and were left crippled in my trail.

It was on the final day that the entire world seemed to revert back to a cool and calm nature. I had walked through the fires of hell in the jungle, and had not been burned. It was this morning, sun shining and not a cloud in the sky that I knew I had overcome the creature that had only previously taunted me in my dreams. Through bushes and trees I tread, out into an open clearing. A clearing that the sharp eyes of an Eagle could not see across. Breath came shallow through my lungs, a light breeze in the air that smelled of spring born anew. Flocks of animals grazed in the tall grasses, numbered in the hundreds of thousands. A glorious sight for any tired eyes to come on. A true honor to solely witness such beauty. I set out, knowing that this day would be the day of reckoning. Time here did not change. Though hours passed, the sun stayed fixed in the sky.

What strength I had, what courage and power, now seemed drained of me despite all odds. Each passing step in this mystical place seemed like a thousand. Each breath was as heavy as an Elephant and as thin as a Butterfly's delicate wing. I was just short of my dieing breath. Cursing the ground I now crawled on, and the evil fates for having dragged me so far only to fail at the closest possible moment. My resolve all but extinct I pulled myself just one final foot farther, hoping, praying that that final step in this great and unending journey would land me my prize. In this very moment, and not one moment sooner, I collapsed, face in the dirt, to await my final demise.

It was then through the harsh and drumming sound echoing through my ears and brain that the light breeze still blowing, and taunting me, carried on it the slightest of sounds. A sound I had not heard since the night spent near the campfires of the local people who had changed my life. It was the sound of laughter. My mind reeled. I could not make sense of this sound, out here in this place, where no normal man could go. Where only one great god-like man had gone before. And yet, there it was all the same.

My muscles tightened as I turned my neck up, and felt as though they were snapping as rubber bands pulled too tight one too many times. My eyes, caked with dust, cracked and creaked slowly open once again as great steel and wooden doors from castles long ago. A blur of light flooded in, combined with the awful drumming in my head making me feel as though a great explosion were just milliseconds away from removing my head from its place on my shoulders. And the laughing, amongst everything else, prevailed. Closer it came, though I could not focus where. Closer and closer. Without a moments notice my eyes cleared, the ringing in my ears ceased and standing before me, as great and terrible as the legends had told, was the animal. This creature I had spent so many years of my life seeking out. This great omnipotent figment of man's imagination made real right before my eyes and shivering soul. The Gizzle stood, amongst the thousands of animals walking the endless mystical plain. Stood laughing. Like a banshee. Laughing at the futility of all my endeavors. Laughing I could feel from the tips of my toes to the end of the hairs on my head. Feeling that once again lit a fire. Kindling at first yes, but within seconds it became as large as any fire man had ever seen. Brighter and hotter than a thousand atomic bombs lighting up the night sky.

My arm flew with grace and precision to my side where my old trusty camera hung. Seemingly forged by some greater power, it hung, working miraculously as the day I had first placed it there. Like birds on the wind it came to my face. Lens cap off, focus locked. My eyes now pumping with furious blood and anger looked through the viewfinder, light and shape and color bending through the lens and into my very being. My finger flinched and SNAP!

It was all gone. I pulled the camera away from my face. No sounds existed anymore but that of a solitary cricket chirping away. It was dusk. In a moment of terror I tore around in a circle. Where was I? I came to grips. I breathed in the deep cool air. I waited. The last shimmering essence of light disappeared over the flat rolling plain in front of me. I reached down to find a hard shape at my side. From some small source of light nearby I could make out my camera, still hanging dutifully at my side. And then a voice…

"Time to go sir." A human voice? I turned to see my prior guide, long dead to me standing as plain as day not 3 meters away. I stepped awkwardly back. "Are you alright sir?" he asked. My voice slowly found its way out, but only above a peep. "Yes, I think so". Perplexed I followed after him. Into the Safari jeep I climbed. Had it all happened? What sort of trickery could this all be? We drove along through the early night, and I spent all the time re-running the events through my head. I couldn't understand what I had just experienced. I was certainly back where I had started. In fact, I knew it was the tenth and final day of my original trip. We were on our way to the airport where I would leave this place. Leave it all behind. All I had seen and experienced.

The thought made me happy. A dream, I thought. All of it. I allowed myself to relax and lean back in the dusty leather seat. We arrived at the airport. We wished me farewell, and I thanked him for his guidance. I waited a short while until being ushered onto the large 747 to head back to civilization and life as I knew it. The stewardess came by and greeted me with a nice cold drink. It seemed strange the taste of it, as if I had gone without for so long I could no longer remember the taste or feeling. I almost immediately slipped into a deep sleep. Darkness totally, and peace. Though it would not last.

A fire roared in front of me. I fell back, stunned by this change of events. I whipped my neck back and forth trying to figure out where I had now ended up. What was happening to me? Then a soft, but firm hand touched my shoulder. I was suddenly very calm and a familiar breeze seemed to hang in the air. The hand which led to an arm and a great hulking figure moved from behind me and sat down next to me. I knew his face without ever having seen it. Hundreds of stories of his greatness had etched this image into my mind like it was carved into solid stone. We sat for some time in quiet. Whether it was a lack of anything to say or a great mutual respect we felt, I can not say. It was I who finally spoke. "Why?" I asked. Simple a question as a man can ask. In this place it seemed to echo, like in a cave or great canyon. He did not answer immediately, but I was not in a rush to hear whatever answer he may have. My mind still raced, was it real? Was it all a dream? Finally his mouth opened.

"Believe.", he said. Before I could ask anything else my eyes popped open as the stewardess bumped into my arm. "Oh, I'm sorry sir. I hope I didn't damage it.", She quipped.  As she moved away, this thought perplexed me. Damaged what? I followed a path down my arm to my hand which hung loosely in the aisle. And in it was my camera. I nearly jumped out of my seat with horror. "Of course! Why didn't I check it sooner!?" The commotion caused a few other souls to wake and give lazy stares and mixed grumbling noises in my direction, but I didn't care. I flicked on the switch and pressed the review button. A single tear rolled down my face.

Believe…

It comes as a great disservice that the story of the Great Kitten Prank has never been put to page until now. After all, the events that largely affected one Mister Michael Vincent Cannetti, unfolded in the balmy summer days of July 2006. Though it has been told on occasion to friends of Mike Cannetti's or mine, it never had the full effect. The reason is, this prank was largely carried out over the internet. And as things that happen in real life can seldom be told well over the internet, the opposite applies here. One must be able to read the correspondence that took place that really gave this prank its amazing longevity and potency when the final bells tolled.

Before I dig into the prank, I should clarify a few things in the writing to come. Some of the story is lost to time. Faded memories will allow me to only input what I can remember about it well, the rest I will have to recreate to the best of my ability. Everything else will be carried by copied and pasted excerpts from the actual email chains that took place throughout. These actual surviving excerpts will be italicized. Please enjoy.

- July 5, 2006. The prank begins.
As I recall, Mike and I were conversing by our usual means over Gmail chat or something similar. I don't recall why or how it started. My best guess is we were discussing my now-wife/then-fiance Angie, and my upcoming wedding. I'm sure as well the talk evolved into a wedding gift from Mike to us. Because the idea to prank Angie came as a kitten wrapped in a bow. To expand on that, Mike and I for whatever reason thought it would be an excellent idea to pull a little prank on Angie. The idea was discussed thoroughly and unfolded as follows...

I took Angie with me to pick up lunch at a local salad bar/delicatessen. On the way there is the most worried dramatic voice I could muster I said something like, "Mike Cannetti told me what he got us for a wedding gift." She was at first unstirred by the direness in my voice but asked about it further. "Ang, it's kind of a problem. He got us a kitten."

Anyone who knows Angie, knows well her allergy to cats. Not to mention, at the time we were living in a non-pet friendly building so we couldn't take in a cat even if we wanted to.

"What do you mean he got us a kitten?", she asked. "Exactly that, he went to some kind of shelter or something and picked out a kitten to give to us. He has it at his house." Immediately Angie's mind fired from the norm of something like, "What the hell is he thinking?" straight to something more like, "Well maybe we can see if someone at the office would take him." I'm sure it took a few minutes of time for this to occur but it seemed quick to me. Very resourceful she is. Anyway, I kept playing it up as much as I could, asking her things like, "What are we going to do? He can't return it!!". Eventually I realized this was an error, as she started coming close to being very upset. The last thing I wanted was for her to start crying surrounded by strangers in the middle of a midtown deli. "Alright, calm down, its OK it's just a joke." "What?" "Its a joke, the cat isn't real, Mike and I are joking with you, he didn't get us a cat, don't worry." After I'm sure her being pissed at me for a few seconds, she gave in and realized it was kind of a funny and dumb idea.

"I was mostly trying to figure out if we could give it to someone in the office, I wasn't worried about us taking it really.", She said as we were walking back to the office. This is when a little tiny bolt of lightning came down from the heavens and struck me in the evil part of my brain.

"What if we turned this around on him?", I said. "What do you mean?" "He doesn't know yet that you know its a prank. What if we turned it around on him with what you were just saying?" And so it was that I decided to flip the equation from my fiance to my best friend. The plan would be to tell him that Angie so worried for the kitten would send an email company-wide to everyone, letting them know we had a kitten that needed adopting.

When I told this to Mike, he thought it was genius. Most people would stop at this point and say this probably is a good spot to call it quits. But Mike is a balls to the wall kinda guy, and clearly wasn't thinking about the repercussions of if a real email got sent to 150 or so real people asking if they would like to adopt a cat that didn't really exist. What can I say, its why he's the best friend I have. This is the point where a devious nature and a knack for things that use electricity comes in handy. I asked Mike to find a picture of a kitten so I could show Angie. He immediately Googled the cutest and saddest little gray kitten he could find.

In the meantime I was busy creating a new person. Specifically a new executive at my company, named Michael Radenoff. It is with Mr. Radenoff's fabricated help, that I would pull the proverbial wool over my good friend's eyes for weeks to come. But more on that later. For now what you must know is Mr. R. got his own brand new hotmail account and would soon be mailing Mike Cannetti.

I sent Angie an email once he had found his kitten letting her know:

mike's gonna send you the picture soon. let me know when you get it. MWAHAHAHA

Soon Mike emailed us the picture, the quick chain followed:

From: Mike to Angie
Subject: Here is the kitty I got
-picture was attached here-

From: Angie to Mike
Subject: Re: Here is the kitty I got.
He's so cute! im sure we'll be able to find someone who will want him. Too tempting!

From: Mike to Angie
Subject: Re: Here is the kitty I got.
Yeah lets hope so. It would a shame to have to give him to the an animal shelter or something.

After receiving said kitten picture, and with a bit of free time during the rest of my lunch break I wrote what looked identical to a string of back and forth emails. Each carefully timestamped to give it realism, each matching outlooks reply's to really trick anyone who saw it. Since you would need to read it from the bottom up for it to make sense, I will instead reverse it for you so you can go on reading in a normal matter. As follows, the first email sent to Mike Cannetti:

This was sent off to Mike that afternoon with a demonic grin on my face. Little did I know it would take off and fly quite so far.

To be continued...